No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
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I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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