alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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