i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize