dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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