yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize