Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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