Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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