I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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