im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize