i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize