so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
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She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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