Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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