Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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