Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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