he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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