i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize