My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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