While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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