I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
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I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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