now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize