Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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