she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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