your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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