Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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