come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize