You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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