My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Im part way to drunk.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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