He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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