put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
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Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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