I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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