I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize