All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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