She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
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took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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