Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
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