he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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