so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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