im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize