i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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