ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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