Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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