Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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