i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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