Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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