okay pat passed out under dana's car
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize