I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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