i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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