i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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