I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize