Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My balls are so social today.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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