She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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